The Joke Thread

[Kustom]

Funny one.

[Storm]

Good news - I got an A in my test!

Bad news - It was for Hepatitis

[Storm]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, ' You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.'

Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.'

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Shoite, Shoite!'


He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face..

'I'm fockin' focked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way!'

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed.'

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says 'Fock it!' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'.

Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was fockin' ****ed. But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned... you left your wheelchair at the pub!'

[Kustom]

Good news - I got an A in my test!

Bad news - It was for Hepatitis

[brad_gpx]

Funny one.

I lol'd

[Kustom]

LMFAO at the pissed joke.

[SchumieFan]

A man and a woman who had never met before,
but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.





Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing the compartment,
they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,....'Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?
I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,..... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!........................That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own f****** blanket.'


After a moment of silence, .......................he farted.

The End

[Kustom]

lmfao ^^^^^

[SchumieFan]

why do south african cops wear reflective outfits????

[Kustom]

We can't view pictures from your email box

[SchumieFan]

We can't view pictures from your email box

i did wonder if thatd happen when the link popped up


wait for it....



...



....





.......

[Kustom]

okay it's fixed.. haha

[Bennoz]

Because they don't smile much?

[SchumieFan]

Because they don't smile much?

would you be smiling if you lived in SA???

[topgun]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, ' You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy.'

Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.'

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Shoite, Shoite!'


He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face..

'I'm fockin' focked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way!'

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed.'

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says 'Fock it!' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'.

Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was fockin' ****ed. But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned... you left your wheelchair at the pub!'

Class!!!

[topgun]

A cat is sat by the side of a river when a 6 inch sausage floats past. The cat dips its paw in to catch it but misses.

Ten mins later a 7 inch sausage floats past. The cat dips its whole leg in to catch it but misses.

Ten mins later a 10 inch sausage floats past . The cat throws itself in and catches it.

The moral of the story.......The bigger the sausage, the wetter the pussy!!!!

[Bennoz]

Because they don't smile much?

would you be smiling if you lived in SA???

Its the only way you're gonna see 'em in the dark

[SchumieFan]

Because they don't smile much?

would you be smiling if you lived in SA???

Its the only way you're gonna see 'em in the dark

im ringing HR!

[Supplanter]

Because they don't smile much?

would you be smiling if you lived in SA???

Its the only way you're gonna see 'em in the dark

im ringing HR!

Ummmaaaaaah I'm telling the IMC on you.

Do not post topics or replies containing:
Any derogatory comments based on age, gender, race, ethnicity or nationality (which will be met with a swift ban).

viewtopic.php?f=30&t=6485

You are so banned.

[SchumieFan]

You are so banned.

categorically stating... no affiliation...



STOP THE BOATS!






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